9 jokes about metrics and measures

Enjoy a giggle about measurement and metrics

Here are a few funny quotes, jokes, and amusing stories to show the light-hearted side of your daily business and life’s measures. I suspect you might recognize some of these within your own management experience! Enjoy.

1 This is how long will It take before laugh.

So let’s start with a joke about measures, it will only take 60 seconds.

2 Aiming higher with our puns

What do you call a saucepan boiling water in the mountains of Nepal?

A high-pot-in-use

3 How it will end in tears of joy

What is the ideal weight of an annoying son in law? About 1 kg including the weight of the urn.

4 A taxing way to measure

The government is introducing a new tax system for agriculture. The system will use a price per,


Failing organizations are usually over-managed and under-led.

Warren G. Bennis

6 Geometry has fun

What do you call a crushed angle? A wrecked angle

7 Leading measures of happiness

By three measures a modern manager is known:
- The number of screens in their office.
- The number of meetings per day.
- The volume memory in GB dedicated to power point presentations

8 It was fun when we started

A sales manager went to the doctor for her yearly physical check up. The trainee nurse starts with the basic questions.

"Could you please tell me your weight?" she asks.

"65 kilo" she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 78 kilo.

The nurse hen asks, "And how tall are you?"

"I’m 1 meter 76," she says in response.

The nurse checks and sees that she is only 1 meter and 72

She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat.

9 Let’s get chuck norris to have the last laugh